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January 2008 
Leaving Integral Institute
Posted on Dec 4th, 2006
by 
P'SAL
P'SAL
Today was my last official day as an employee of Integral Institute. I spent three long, painful, exciting, inspiring, chaotic, confusing, and surprising years with the institution founded by Ken Wilber in the late 90s. Alas, it was time for me to leave the "hyperdance" for good. I hope they can muddle through this massive shift in organizational direction.
It is a curious thing about working for an organization with purpose: one can lose sight of one's own. Indeed, in my case, remaining on for so long had become a substitute for living my own path. I figured, if I was working for an organization with a purpose, then that was close enough to living my own life with purpose. I banged my head against that ceiling for nearly my entire tenure, never quite trusting that my own intuition could deviate so sharply from what I felt in many other ways was the right thing to do. Alas, as previous lovers had noticed, and as I came to find myself, such willful delusion was a sure-fire recipe for stagnation. It is only in this manner that I can say I have grown beyond an organization devoted to growth.
I wish them well.
(See also my former co-worker Ballard on the wonders of unemployment.)
It is a curious thing about working for an organization with purpose: one can lose sight of one's own. Indeed, in my case, remaining on for so long had become a substitute for living my own path. I figured, if I was working for an organization with a purpose, then that was close enough to living my own life with purpose. I banged my head against that ceiling for nearly my entire tenure, never quite trusting that my own intuition could deviate so sharply from what I felt in many other ways was the right thing to do. Alas, as previous lovers had noticed, and as I came to find myself, such willful delusion was a sure-fire recipe for stagnation. It is only in this manner that I can say I have grown beyond an organization devoted to growth.
I wish them well.
(See also my former co-worker Ballard on the wonders of unemployment.)
Access: Public
”..if I was working for an organization with a purpose, then that was close enough to living my own life with purpose.”
I suppose it depends on whether YOUR purpose is in alignment with the org's purpose. As you seem to be indicating in your writing, your writing IS your purpose. As such, until your writing supports you, you earn your living in other ways (although I'm assuming that your writing will support you one day.)
How many successful authors have supported themselves with “okay” day jobs? (Although clearly I-I most likely required more time than a job you can simply leave at home).
So you are doing well - DOING your purpose - writing - while supporting yourself in a positive way - until the writing itself becomes remunerative.
On another note - good graphic - I has a feeling you didn't want to pass up use of that graphic! :)
interesting post! Funny , I logged on to Zaadz this evening to “compare notes” and find out what others are feeling about Wilbers new book- 'Integral spirituality' And, I almost instantly found this blog.
I'm about 50 pages into the book. I'm all for supporting his AQAL/quadrant theories of one particular subject/everything culminating into their current status/entity and the human race evolving from egocentric to ethnocentric to worldcentric (I believe society is slowly moving in that direction) But, honestly, i'm finding the book a liitle self serving and padantic. Plus, I don't like the fact that (refer to Appendix 3) Wilber picks apart many great spiritual theorists to help prove his own theories and points. That's a bit juvenile. Do you agree?
i'll reserve comment on said book until i recieve my severance package ;)
do note, however: the “Integral Books” logo on the spine was done by me!
paul
ps
i don't wish to convey that my time at I-I was wasted, anything but! no regrets dawgs…
: (
“I figured, if I was working for an organization with a purpose, then that was close enough to living my own life with purpose.”
Yep. This expresses how I felt working for I-I too. Sure, there is a good dose of spiritual bypassing with this approach. The bypass is better than staring into the abyss of “What the f*ck do I do with the rest of my life now?”
A couple of clarifications on what an organization with a purpose means. All organizations have a purpose. Most organizations purposes is to make money. A few go beyond making money into improving some aspect of the lower right quadrent, usually the environment or helping the poor get up to Amber. I-I is unique in creating a space or container for 2nd tier consciousness. I-I produces more 2nd - 3rd tier artifacts than any organization in the world. Working for that kind of organization is compatable with any type of individual purpose. However, working for I-I doesn't automatically help growth in our own UL quadrents. If were not careful we can substitue work in our UL with being part of something large in the LL/LR. It's an easy thing to do.
Steve, I disagree with Integral Spirituality being self serving. Integral Spirituality is a great contribution to the knowlege quest. It raises the ante of what authors have to include to be Integral. Pointing out aspects of books that are less than Integral isn't self serving. It's necessary and clarifying to a more integral and encompassing worldview. My worldview is cluttered with the Myth of the Given. Having Ken expose the fallacy of the Myth of the Given is a great help. The point that has really helped me see the Myth of the Given is that 5,000 years ago, Teal (and possibly Green) consciousness didn't exist. If Green, Teal, Turquoise, etc. preexisted, Buddha or Christ would have been at that altitude.
has it been three years already? man, time really flies. all i can say is that you did a really great job.
it's tough for any organization to get started and humming. tougher still is to find organizations that you're in alignment with, in the long run. but who knows, like you said, you've grown up.
godspeed. keep the memories. keep the lessons. keep in touch. keep the blog flowing. keep growing….
P.S. here's a plaque of appreciation for you :)
I'm excited to see what you do next, Paul!
Paul-
A few times each week I probably read, watch, or physically hold something that, in some way, was influenced by your contributions. And your contributions will be felt for years and years and years. As someone downstream from all that culture output, I just want to say that we were reading, watching, and enjoying the whole time. :) So, thank you! And, I look forward to what comes next for you. (And, likewise, to everyone else that's heading out!)
-Mark
Paul –
We haven't bumped into each other in the blogosphere much personally yet, but I enjoy the stuff i see of yours. And I love the Integral Books logo. Best wishes to you and hope to continue to see your stuff on the 'Net…
Joe
Edit that novel, Hoss!
Every Sunset bodes a Sunrise!
Giddyup.
Peace…
Go P-Funk! Sala-MAN! Here's to our bright futures post-II….